It's not your strategy. It's your connection ... [🐝U]

Over the past few months writing this newsletter, I’ve met some flat-out incredible humans. You’re chasing dreams & the wild adventure of building something that’s yours.

 We’re all on the same road … different lanes, sure … but heading toward the same dream of freedom & flexibility.

The more we talk, the clearer it gets…

Same dream, different paths

& at the same time, we’re all sooooo different.

We have different skill sets & experience

We all want to help others.

We’re motivated by the promise of something better

And we want to get there in service of others

I can begin to describe how inspiring that enthusiasm is.

When enthusiasm makes us skip steps

The spark … the 1 that keeps you up at midnight dreaming about … can also make us skip steps.

 I’ve been there. I STILL do it.
sometimes passion moves faster than wisdom.

 It happened when I first launched this newsletter.

I dove in head 1st & missing something big

I invited a few people before it launched

It all started (& continues to be) all about your questions so I can answer them … without the BS.

The big one from day 1 was about bro-marketing

So I did  things:
→ Explained how to combat it so you don’t sound like 1
→ Gave you access to a brilliant copywriter who has a free course (it’s still available & starts with “The Bro Marketing Conundrum)

I was so fired up to share what I knew (& the resources I had) that could help that I forgot the 1 thing that matters most … meeting people where they actually are.

That bro-marketing newsletter didn’t fall flat because of bad strategy or poor information. It fell flat because I skipped the audience part.

I poured my heart into that newsletter … strategy, content, links, everything.
But when it hit your inbox, it was a bit like shouting into a canyon
There was an echo … but not much of a connection.

 & it wasn’t the strategy or the content … it was the connection.

The step we all keep skipping

What I didn’t do:
→Stop to consider you, my audience … your level of awareness & understanding of the “thing” (solutions) I was sharing.

I flew past that like a fighter jet.

Fortunately for me, someone I knew that got that early invite asked that all-important question

“This is what I’m doing … does that make me a bro-marketer?”

I don’t remember if I smacked my forehead or dropped it on my desk, but I can assure you there was a lot of visual drama with the realization I skipped the most important step.

Know your audience.

& while I DO know you, I didn’t stop to ensure you’re all on the same page with levels of awareness and understanding what I was going on about.

 That 1 question changed how I approached everything after that.

So I had to take a step back and explain it … AFTER I told you how you could prevent it when talking to your own audience.

You already knew me … or knew of me enough to be subscribed to the newsletter.

But here’s the part that might sound familiar…

I’ve seen it in you too … the same heartbeat I had at the start.
It’s not laziness. It’s love.
You care so much about helping that you leap before you look … or listen.

The challenge is it’s happening BEFORE people have an idea of who you are,

It’s in your LinkedIn outreach to new connections
& on your website.
It’s in the AI agents you’re creating
It’s even in your lead magnets & offers.
(That’s just what I’ve seen this week!)

 So much knowledge, experience, enthusiasm to help.

Start by asking better questions

Who – specifically – are you talking to?
What – exactly – are their desires? Challenges? … right now … not later on.

You’re the expert in what you do.
& you (hopefully) have an idea of who you want to help (beyond “anyone willing to pay”)

 But knowing there’s audience isn’t the same as truly knowing about them.

So based on that:
→ What are they willing to tell you? 
→ What won’t tell you?
→ What do they not even realize themselves?

Fortunately, I had that initial connection in the newsletter.  When the confusion hit, someone asked, I clarified, & because of that initial bit of “know-like-trust” you all stuck around long enough to let me back up (no one unsubscribed).

But “out there” in the world of trying to get leads, they don’t know you.
They don’t give you the benefit of the doubt or stop to ask clarifying questions.

 That’s why how you write, not just what you write, matters so much.

You need to write to them like you know them.
You understand their desires.
You appreciate their challenges.
You’re empathetic at their hesitancy to trust you.

You need to “talk” to them … about them … not your “thing”.

Sure, that may be the solution to their problem, but are you talking about the most important problem for them?

Everybody needs water … but we don’t all drink it the same way.

Some refill the same dented Hydro Flask they’ve had for years.
Others order sparkling cucumber-mint “hydration experiences” for 10 bucks a bottle.

Same need. Wildly different stories.

But how you talk to them based on who they are, their needs, their desires?
That makes all the difference in whether your message resonates & gets them to stick around to learn more … or if it flies over their head & zips past, never to be seen again.

Which brings us back to 1 of my favorite examples of how this plays out in real life …

Bob Bly’s pencil exercise turns your “thing’s” features & the benefit to your audience.
It also shows that knowing which of those is most relevant is important.

Don’t talk to me about the little pink eraser on top that can fix writing mistakes. I made them constantly … so much so I needed a jumbo eraser that fit into the palm of my hand.

I STILL make those mistakes … the difference now is it’s digital.  I spit things out in a stream of consciousness first, so it’s documented before I forget it.

That means a LOT more mistakes than a little pink eraser on top can handle.

So, in my case, don’t tell me about the pink eraser (feature) or the ease in correctly little mistakes (benefit to almost anyone but me)

Because that’s the point … what matters to them isn’t always what matters to you.

So … how do we fix this?

How to really know your audience

Not the version you hope they are … the real one.
The messy, curious, halfway-scrolling human on the other side of the screen

Before you start (or continue) writing to your audience, hit pause & ask yourself:
Who am I actually talking to here?
What do they want right now … not “someday”
Not eventually.
Right. Now.

Know their desires. (hint: you can’t create them.  They have to be there.  It’s your job to channel them)

Understand their challenges
Listen to what they say (& won’t) about what really matters to them
& do a deeper dive to learn what they don’t know (or realize) about themselves to tell you.

You’re an expert.  You have experience & skills the rest of us don’t.
That makes you uniquely qualified to build a successful business by helping your audience with whatever your “thing” is.

But … & it’s a big but … they need to see you’re talking to them.

They have to know you understand their dreams.
They need to see their dreams are achievable with your help.
& that you can help them get there sooner & with fewer frustrations than without you.

Your steps (without skipping any)

You’ve got plenty to dig into on your own.
Revisit the earlier newsletters
Go through things based on your business.
Re-read the part about awareness levels so you talk to your people, not at them

That alone can shift how your message lands.
& that shift can change everything.

You can absolutely keep experimenting on your own.
& you’ll definitely learn plenty from it

Make it a great “breakthrough” week.
EG

PS:

Every email is based on what you ask for … the more something’s asked for, the faster it finds its way to the top of the to-write-about pile
📣 Tell me what you want to read about … here

🔗 Connect with me on LinkedIn … here