"awe Mom ... do I HAVE to?" ... [🐝U]

Sometimes the thing draining the life out of us isn’t the work itself
It’s the story we’re telling ourselves about the work.

 & 1 story, more than any other, quietly burns us out:
“I have to.”

 This week, I got smacked in the face with that reminder.

HAVE to vs GET to

I remember talking about this distinction as a guest speaker in a marketing live event

 Perspective is everything
→ From how you see things
→ To how others see you (& your business)

& most of the time, we don’t even realize the perspective we’re working in.

Knowing isn’t the same as using

There’s a difference between “knowing” something vs “remembering” it,
& actually applying it

This isn’t just theory for me … it’s survival math.

What made this sting was that I know better
Yet I was still letting the work feel heavy instead of meaningful.

Fortunately, 1 of my mentors reminded me of that this week
not with advice, but with a simple question.

 “How are you treating this situation?”

 You know I’ve been struggling with getting things going on this property.

& that I’ve even considered looking for other ways (& places) to reach my goal of being “Grizzly Adams with tech”

That struggle has a sneaky way of changing how the work feels.

 That’s when the same task stops feeling purposeful
& starts feeling like another damn weight you’re dragging uphill.

That’s why the words we use to talk about our business (& life)
along with all the actions needed to succeed …

They don’t just describe the work
They decide how heavy it feels while we’re doing it.

You can WANT something … like being your own boss
Which has you CHOOSE to explore this path
But unless you COMMIT, “life” will always be in your way

Wanting opens the door.
Choosing steps through it.
Commitment keeps you moving, even when it gets uncomfortable.

Where HAVE to sneaks in

The next layer is how you perceive those actions
Because that perception is how you experience the journey

Think about when you were a kid & your parents asked you to do things you weren’t really wild about …

“awe mom, do I HAVE to?”
(I’m willing to bet you put an emphasis on HAVE)

Technically, no
Your parents can try different forms of punishment
But it’s not the same as HAVING to get out of a burning building

Think about the weight of “you HAVE to” vs “you GET to”

 Here’s the psychology behind it…
→ If we say “I HAVE to,” our brain reads it as loss of control.
That triggers resistance, stress, & mental fatigue.

→When we say, “I GET to,” signals choice & agency.
& our brain works harder for things it believes it chose.

Same action.
Different nervous-system response.

Nothing changes externally
But internally, it’s a whole new world!

Here’s what this looked like in real life.

 In my case, I genuinely DO have to leave.
–40 with no reliable power isn’t safe.

& yes … perspective still matters.

I GET to go to the house for the weekend
Reliable power. Heat. Running water.

I’ve been setting alarms every 2 hours to wake up & run the generator for about 10-15 minutes.

Did I HAVE to?

Technically, no
I’m toasty warm buried under a sleeping bag & duvet cover wearing fleece-lined pants, 2 thermal shirts, & a hoodie…

Early this morning (or very late last night), I skipped the 2am wake up call.
The temperature inside plummeted from 15 to 0 when I got up for the 4 am alarm.

& the reason I skipped the alarm …
I was exhausted from all the snow shoveling & moving materials to prep for a wind & snowstorm
(which may not be enough because I ran out of things I could lift to weigh things down)

That’s what exhaustion does.
It quietly turns GET to back into HAVE to.

& when that happens long enough, we don’t just quit the work
we quit ourselves.

So let’s bring this back to you…
the builder, the owner, the 1 trying to make something real.
→ Do you HAVE to start a business?
→ Do you HAVE to do all the things that aren’t the “thing” you started the business for?

 Technically, no.
(Some jobs give you “freedom & flexibility” to do what you love without the “other stuff”)

But if it’s something you want
& you chose this path
then commit to it.

Remember, you don’t HAVE to do this
But when you commit to this path
You do GET to!

You GET to build something that’s yours.
You GET to learn the parts you didn’t expect.

 Think about what you GET to do today, this week, this month.
Imagine where that GETS you by the end of the year
Then in 5 years or even 10

Same work.
Same days.
Completely difference experience.

Because “HAVE to” drains you
“GET to” carries you forward … even through the freezing, snowy, heavy-lifting hard parts.

1 version creates resentment,
& the other builds someone you’re proud to be.

What you GET to do next …

For daily 10-second reminders from the “Universe”, check out “The Universe Talks” newsletter

& if you want help reframing what you GET to build…
Reply to this email & tell me where “HAVE to” has crept into your business
… so we can turn it back into “GET to.”

Make it a great “ get-to “ week!
EG

PS:

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